Posts tagged kids

College Send-Off Bittersweet

College Send-Off Bittersweet

The time is upon us to drop our kids off at college. A time where students step into the next chapter of their life. Yet, they are not the only ones making their way towards unknown territory. The same holds true for the parents that must learn to live without them.

The following is a letter to my son upon his leaving home and going towards his calling in life.  It is such a bittersweet time.

The Little Things

I’m like any other mother out there holding on to what once was and trying to let you go. I know it’s important to you to get your feet wet in that next big thing in life. You are venturing towards a fresh independence of becoming who you are meant to be.

That doesn’t change the fact that of course I’ll miss the little things. For you see the little things started so many years ago. It started the very day that you were born.

When I met you for the first time and held your tiny hand in mine. What about the time that you finally learned how to walk or ride a bike with your Dads help? Throwing you fun birthday parties just because it made you happy.

As your parents we got blessed with eighteen full years of having you home. People told us that one day you would have to leave. The day that your life would begin in college.

That was so many years ago. I thought I had more time with you. To do all that I used to do.
For you see not only are you beginning something great, but I am letting go of one of my biggest achievements in life: You. There really isn’t any manual that tells me how to go on without you.

Time to Let Go

Only the wisdom that comes with time that it will all be alright. I’ll still worry across the miles because that is what a mother does. Yet, I’ll be your biggest cheerleader through your college years.

The same way that I was when you were in sports growing up. Going to as many games or matches as possible. Being there for you meant everything. To see your smile when I was there made it worth it.

That brings me to the present moment. The finality of having to release you into this crazy world of ours. In the hopes that you will continue to make good choices.

To be honest it’s more of no longer being able to protect you from it all. No more being a helicopter mom of sorts. There aren’t words to describe the way that I will feel once you are gone. The days when I’ll walk past an empty bedroom.

Who ever said parenting was a piece of cake? Nobody did I’m sure. So, yes, I may be a little mushy with this letter, but let’s get to the next part.

Things I Want for You

I want you to do your best in college. Get in there and see who you are. Enjoy the path of self-discovery. Don’t let fear dictate who you are meant to become. If someone thinks that you can’t it is your job to prove them wrong.

Dream big and don’t ever let anyone make you think small. Be a giver and do it without asking for anything in return. When you are chasing your dream it’s important to lead others to do the same.

Hang in There

There will be times when your self-doubt will test you. It’ll make you think that you aren’t worthy, ignore it. You are way bigger than that.

When things get rough you can vent for a bit and then move on. You are only human. Look at upcoming obstacles as a challenge. I wish that I could tell you that you won’t get any, but you will.

It’s part of your journey. Something that is bound to happen. Don’t worry because it will soon pass as soon as it arrives.

Determination Goes a Long Way

Be determined about what it is that you are seeking in life. The most successful people walk through fear because their commitment pushes them past it. Be that person.

Through it all you will shed layers of doubt and you will gain layers of maturity. If there is one thing that your independence will teach you is perseverance and true grit.

Three things that you should always keep in your pocket are: your integrity, your morals and your faith. This is a time that you will see what you are made of. It’s a big test to see if you will either give up or keep going.

The good news is that you are not alone. You can always lean on me no matter where you are. When in doubt all that you must do is look up.

Believe in yourself the way that I believe in you. I know that you will still carry a bit of me with you. You’ll remember our talks and I hope that will move you forward.

New Beginnings

Although this may seem like the end of what we have always known it’s only the beginning. This is the part where it gets even better yet again. The part where you get to be the director of your own story.

As you embark on your next chapter be ready to create your own opportunities. Don’t wait around for them to arrive. Do the work and the rest will soon follow.

You are well on your way to greatness. This is the moment where you embrace how lucky you are. It is where you get to pursue everything that you have ever wanted. A dream in the making is waiting for you.

Although it feels bittersweet know that I am happy for you. For you are chasing your dream like I knew that you would.

In my mind you’ll always be my baby, but for now I must let you take the lead. I’ll be watching on the sidelines rooting for you every step of the way.

You have us, your family giving you high fives. Be ready because you have what it takes and then some. It’s time to discover the part of you that has been waiting for this moment.

Now’s your time to gather all your hopes and wishes. Put them before you to allow yourself to dream big.

Why stop there though? I say dream as big as you are willing to go. Even if it seems impossible. For when you do great things are sure to happen.

 

High School Graduation Means Letting Go

High School Graduation Means Letting Go

The minute your child enters kindergarten you are already prepping for milestones. Yet, when it is time for their senior year that is when reality sets in. High School graduation means letting go.

This is where I was most recently with our youngest and several years ago with our oldest. All sorts of emotions start to come about. Often, I think I’d like to revert back to accidentally stepping on Legos. This would allow me the opportunity of reliving their childhood once again.

Sounds extreme doesn’t it? I mean who would want to step on tiny hard plastic pieces? Or maybe I’d like to push my kids on a swing again at the park.

Reminiscing Good for Your Soul

I remember when our kids were little I thought that graduation seemed so far away. I don’t think that I took my time for granted, but the progression of time speeding by seemed unlikely.

Back then being part of their moments with growing up felt like time was standing still. As if I was in a time-lapse photography session with each milestone that was reached. Teaching our kids how to walk or my husband teaching them something that I didn’t know how to do.

It was all part of the process as a family. Being connected on a level so deep that the thought of them growing up seemed so far away.

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New School Year Requires New Goals

New School Year Requires New Goals

It’s that time of year again as students get ready to go back to school. Here is a chance to talk about back to school goals. Students need to know that they have your support with a new school year.

Have you talked about new school year goals with your child?

If your child is in elementary school start out by asking simple questions. Ask what he or she hopes to learn with the new school year. Maybe they want to become a better reader or become more proficient in math.

Write it down on a piece of notebook paper and hang it up on the fridge. This way they will be able to see it as a reminder daily. Their reward will be checking off each goal as they complete it.

Evaluate Goals After One Month

If your child gets off track after a month or so sit down and talk about their goals again. Always ask how their day went. Make it a point to talk about the good and the bad things.

Getting the chance to release it all helps get it off their chest and then it becomes easier to refocus on the things that are important to them.

When your child is in middle school or high school it is a good idea that they get plenty of sleep. Tips for success include: being organized, having bottled water throughout the day and being on time. It is about going back to the basics.

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Ask Lucy: How Do I Get Him To Notice Me Again?

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Alexis.

“I have been married to my husband for many years and we have two teen children. We both work and find it difficult to make time as a couple. Actually I suggest going out, but all I get in return are excuses that he is too busy with work. I’m not trying to be shallow, but I also stay fit with exercise to continue being attractive for him. How do I get him to notice me again and have him look at me the way that he did when he fell in love with me? I’m grateful for our marriage, but not feeling that he realizes I’m still sexy and need that time alone with him outside of our house.”

Ah! This is a good question! Being together in a marriage for so many years takes a lot of work. I know from my own experience. As couples we tend to get busier as our children get older.

Having a family to take care of and working full-time can seem overwhelming. It doesn’t mean that you both don’t still have the wow factor though. I bet he notices you more than you think. Marriage comes with its trials and tribulations.

Some men are awesome about letting their wife know how beautiful that she still is. Yet, there are others that don’t do that, but that doesn’t mean that they are bad people. These type of men have a different way of expressing how they feel.

Stop and think of all of the wonderful qualities that your husband possesses. What made you fall in love with him? Think back to the day that you felt those butterflies in your stomach.

Do you remember how that made you feel?

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Slowing Down Enough To Be Grateful

Ever wake up to a new day in a frenzy?

You immediately think of every task that you need to accomplish. I can promise you that there will always be laundry to do, dishes to wash or errands to run.

How do you find time to be grateful for the small things though?

You have to remember to be present in the moment. Ever have a conversation with someone and not remember anything that they said? Or picture that reversed.

When has that happened to you?

We live in a world where we are constantly in a hurry. To get to the next thing on our lists of things that should get done. When we live in this state of mind that is when we miss out on the small things.

The small things really aren’t all that little if you think about it. They are usually the moments that we encounter with those that we love. They are opportunities of happy living that can either fall in our lap or fall out of our grasp if we aren’t paying attention.

Chances where we can create meaningful memories. Think of your life as a scrapbook. Each space on the page can represent a special moment.

What do your pages look like?

Remember that your pages will include times that might not make you feel grateful. How do you put yourself in a place where you can express gratitude?

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Ask Lucy

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Sonia.

“Growing up it was easier to make friends easily wherever that you went. As a grown up this has been a challenging thing for me. How do you make friends as a grown up?”

I love this question Sonia because I am all about making new friends. It was so much easier as a little kid to make friends. You see when you are a kid anything goes.

Go to any public park and watch kids from all walks of life play with each other. No judgements are being made most of the time. They interact with each other for the same reasons. To play with each other and have a good time while doing it.

Don’t you wish that were still the case as an adult?

As a grown up you have become seasoned to the world. You are more aware of what you do and don’t like in people. As adults you tend to be a bit more selective and cautious with people in general.

Are you a shy person or do you like to mingle and get to know people?

From your question, I’m going to guess that maybe you can be a little shy. There is nothing wrong with being shy. What are your interests as an adult? Do you have any children?

Think of the things that you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests outside of work or the home?

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Ways To Provide Summer Learning Fun

Pretty soon the kids will be out for summer fun. Are you ready to have them continue learning throughout their time off? It is a great time to keep them engaged in learning if you prep ahead of time.

The local library was always a great way for my kids to read over the summer. They had the chance to participate in a summer contest and earn a trophy. If you were a kid and you wanted to win that trophy you ended up reading and fulfilling the required time that it took.

You see summer has its perks. There are plenty of learning opportunities if you find out what is available. Ask other moms to see where they have gone or plan on going to. If you live in an area close to museums look into that also.

Our hometown in Ohio happened to include the home of President Rutherford B. Hayes. It was great to be able to walk on the property and visit the museum there. A part of history that we were fortunate enough to learn about. Spiegel Grove as it is known will always hold some fond memories.

http://www.rbhayes.org/

We live in an age of high technology. Technology is great, but disconnecting for a little bit is good too. Revert to the ways in how things used to be. Let your kids get outdoors and get dirty. Know the best times to include technology.

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