This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Lori.

“I am a mother of two kids and work full-time. I’m also a wife, a friend and I am constantly doing stuff. I would love to start getting fit, but I do a lot of self-sabotaging. I’m tired of making excuses. I lack motivation and often wonder what I would look like if I had the body that I used to have before my beautiful children. I want to keep the spice alive as a wife, but am not sure where to go from here. My husband says that he loved me then and still loves me now. If I could start some kind of routine and diet I know that would boost my self-esteem. What can I do to get on the right track this time?”

First of all let me start by saying thank you for reaching out to me. It takes a lot of courage to bring up wanting to get fit and explaining what you have gone through. Your situation is so relatable to many.

I know it is tough when you work a full-time job plus have a family to take care of. Luckily our children are older and very independent. Don’t let that fool you though because you will always be needed. That’s not a bad thing either, I welcome it.

Start by making a list of the reasons why you want to get fit. What do you hope to gain from it? I’m not talking about pounds either. Think about the reasons why fitness would be good for you.

What would happen if you were to shed the weight and tone up?

I have found that your fitness journey is what you make of it. You can join any program, try any diet, watch a ton of videos on fitness, but in the end it is up to you.

You will always get advice on what to do and what not to do. If you work out diligently three times a week and then continue to eat the way that you’re used to guess what happens? You don’t see the results that you are looking for.

Is it hard to work out? You bet! I remember how hard it was to start working out. I didn’t really want to.

Did I have a good reason to though?

Yes, because I had found archery and if you have ever tried pulling back on a compound bow you know it’s not that easy. My reasons for starting out were for that, but I also wanted to be sexier, stronger and live a healthier lifestyle.

Working out gives you strength and makes you feel empowered. My trainer has always said that it is your diet first. What you eat makes all the difference in the world. I love to eat out, but I know that I can always do better.

A food diary will be your best friend. I started using the MyFitnessPal app that my trainer recommended.

The app will be your new wake up call.

You will pay more attention to what you are putting in your body too. I started drinking a cup of warm water with lemon and a few drops of Chlorophyll that Chef Serena Poon mentioned on her 3-Day Beauty Glow Cleanse that includes her recipe for her Luminous Elixir.

She is a beautiful woman and inspires me with her words and her lovely pictures.

Personally, I love taking advice from people who I respect that work hard for their fitness and health. You have to find who that is for you. These are the people who know what works and what doesn’t. Whether they are a celebrity that you admire or a dear friend they all mean well.

Do you want to do this for a lifestyle change or a quick fix?

I opted for the lifestyle change. Once you decide and commit to something you will start to see the changes. Remember that it takes time to see your progress.

Stick it out and try your best not to give up. You will be tempted to eat the things that you’re not supposed to. Even so tell yourself that you are strong. You did not gain weight overnight and you will not lose it that way either. It is a process.

Find a support group. I have met some of the best at my gym. I used to be intimidated to go to one, but I found a very nice gym that supports my goals.

My trainer has also been a great motivator along with my gym friends that lift and do fitness classes with me. It is important to find the type of workouts that you are interested in. Some prefer to workout at home and others in a variety of other ways.

Recently, I ran and walked with a group of ladies locally. That challenged me, but I did it anyways. I also love getting motivated by another blogger: Rocio Ocampo of Momduty. I connect with her also and have found that we have similar goals with fitness.

Andrea Minski is a woman who balances more than what I thought possible. However, that is why I love to follow her workouts and tips on fitness as well. Both Andrea and Rocio are moms and that is why I get inspired to continue on my fitness journey too. They both are genuinely hard workers and inspirational women with a great perspective on life.

So you see it is about finding what works best for you to keep you interested. Finding your balance and keeping yourself encouraged. Making the time to work out whether it is in the morning or  in the evening.

If you want it bad enough you will make the time. If you don’t you will make excuses. It’s time to bring your sexy back as an awesome wife.

I believe that you will be committed once you start. You will encounter some tough moments along the way, but so does everyone else. The only difference is that some people quit and others keep on going.

Not only will you look great, but you will feel incredible. You are worth it! Love yourself enough today to say yes to the new you that is aching to come out. You get this one life and each day is an opportunity to be the best that you can be.

Are you ready to start your fitness journey?

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I truly enjoy receiving submissions from my readers. Have a question and want some advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email me at: