Reinventing Yourself Through Your Dream
Pursuing your dream is a process. It has the tendency to test your limits. Reinventing yourself through your dream is the beginning of a journey.
From the get go you find out a lot about yourself and what you are capable of. You end up discovering the person that you are about to become.
Going after your gifts will require to think out of the box. That is the part that will stretch you. You may even think you might not want to do it.
Often it is easier to stay confined to your safety net. It’s the space that is comfortable. The area that you can count on. Most of the time there aren’t any opportunities to fail there.
Do you tend to stay in the comfort zone or step out of it?
This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Alexis.
“I have been married to my husband for many years and we have two teen children. We both work and find it difficult to make time as a couple. Actually I suggest going out, but all I get in return are excuses that he is too busy with work. I’m not trying to be shallow, but I also stay fit with exercise to continue being attractive for him. How do I get him to notice me again and have him look at me the way that he did when he fell in love with me? I’m grateful for our marriage, but not feeling that he realizes I’m still sexy and need that time alone with him outside of our house.”
Ah! This is a good question! Being together in a marriage for so many years takes a lot of work. I know from my own experience. As couples we tend to get busier as our children get older.
Having a family to take care of and working full-time can seem overwhelming. It doesn’t mean that you both don’t still have the wow factor though. I bet he notices you more than you think. Marriage comes with its trials and tribulations.
Some men are awesome about letting their wife know how beautiful that she still is. Yet, there are others that don’t do that, but that doesn’t mean that they are bad people. These type of men have a different way of expressing how they feel.
Stop and think of all of the wonderful qualities that your husband possesses. What made you fall in love with him? Think back to the day that you felt those butterflies in your stomach.
Do you remember how that made you feel?
This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Lori.
“I am a mother of two kids and work full-time. I’m also a wife, a friend and I am constantly doing stuff. I would love to start getting fit, but I do a lot of self-sabotaging. I’m tired of making excuses. I lack motivation and often wonder what I would look like if I had the body that I used to have before my beautiful children. I want to keep the spice alive as a wife, but am not sure where to go from here. My husband says that he loved me then and still loves me now. If I could start some kind of routine and diet I know that would boost my self-esteem. What can I do to get on the right track this time?”
First of all let me start by saying thank you for reaching out to me. It takes a lot of courage to bring up wanting to get fit and explaining what you have gone through. Your situation is so relatable to many.
I know it is tough when you work a full-time job plus have a family to take care of. Luckily our children are older and very independent. Don’t let that fool you though because you will always be needed. That’s not a bad thing either, I welcome it.
Start by making a list of the reasons why you want to get fit. What do you hope to gain from it? I’m not talking about pounds either. Think about the reasons why fitness would be good for you.
What would happen if you were to shed the weight and tone up?
I have found that your fitness journey is what you make of it. You can join any program, try any diet, watch a ton of videos on fitness, but in the end it is up to you.
You will always get advice on what to do and what not to do. If you work out diligently three times a week and then continue to eat the way that you’re used to guess what happens? You don’t see the results that you are looking for.
Ever wake up to a new day in a frenzy?
You immediately think of every task that you need to accomplish. I can promise you that there will always be laundry to do, dishes to wash or errands to run.
How do you find time to be grateful for the small things though?
You have to remember to be present in the moment. Ever have a conversation with someone and not remember anything that they said? Or picture that reversed.
When has that happened to you?
We live in a world where we are constantly in a hurry. To get to the next thing on our lists of things that should get done. When we live in this state of mind that is when we miss out on the small things.
The small things really aren’t all that little if you think about it. They are usually the moments that we encounter with those that we love. They are opportunities of happy living that can either fall in our lap or fall out of our grasp if we aren’t paying attention.
Chances where we can create meaningful memories. Think of your life as a scrapbook. Each space on the page can represent a special moment.
What do your pages look like?
Remember that your pages will include times that might not make you feel grateful. How do you put yourself in a place where you can express gratitude?
This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Sonia.
“Growing up it was easier to make friends easily wherever that you went. As a grown up this has been a challenging thing for me. How do you make friends as a grown up?”
I love this question Sonia because I am all about making new friends. It was so much easier as a little kid to make friends. You see when you are a kid anything goes.
Go to any public park and watch kids from all walks of life play with each other. No judgements are being made most of the time. They interact with each other for the same reasons. To play with each other and have a good time while doing it.
Don’t you wish that were still the case as an adult?
As a grown up you have become seasoned to the world. You are more aware of what you do and don’t like in people. As adults you tend to be a bit more selective and cautious with people in general.
Are you a shy person or do you like to mingle and get to know people?
From your question, I’m going to guess that maybe you can be a little shy. There is nothing wrong with being shy. What are your interests as an adult? Do you have any children?
Think of the things that you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests outside of work or the home?
Pretty soon the kids will be out for summer fun. Are you ready to have them continue learning throughout their time off? It is a great time to keep them engaged in learning if you prep ahead of time.
The local library was always a great way for my kids to read over the summer. They had the chance to participate in a summer contest and earn a trophy. If you were a kid and you wanted to win that trophy you ended up reading and fulfilling the required time that it took.
You see summer has its perks. There are plenty of learning opportunities if you find out what is available. Ask other moms to see where they have gone or plan on going to. If you live in an area close to museums look into that also.
Our hometown in Ohio happened to include the home of President Rutherford B. Hayes. It was great to be able to walk on the property and visit the museum there. A part of history that we were fortunate enough to learn about. Spiegel Grove as it is known will always hold some fond memories.
We live in an age of high technology. Technology is great, but disconnecting for a little bit is good too. Revert to the ways in how things used to be. Let your kids get outdoors and get dirty. Know the best times to include technology.
Ever feel like you were the luckiest to have your mom as your best friend?
I read about this topic all of the time. Most of the time it has to do with younger kids and that a mom shouldn’t be your best friend. However, when you’re an adult as I am, then I cherish that additional title for my mom. She truly is my biggest fan.
You see without her where would I truly be today. In this very moment. Would I have the desire to pursue my dreams in the way that I have? To marry when I did and start a family too? I don’t think so.
My mom has been so influential and supportive all of my life. That is why I truly feel lucky. To have a relationship of such understanding and meaning with her.
Mothers have the pleasure of raising their children and guiding them each step of the way. It’s part of their role in helping us find our way. I’m forever grateful to her for that.
I hold many memories of my mom. She has this incredible sense of humor and she makes small talk wherever she goes. The gift of gab is her specialty and any stranger that she talks with will feel they have known her for a long time.