This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Andrea.
“How do you break bad news to a good friend? It’s a friend that I’ve known for a long time. I’m unsure of whether I should be the one to do it or if I should turn the other cheek.”
Giving bad news to anyone is never easy. Especially to a good friend. I guess it would depend on the kind of bad news that you have to deliver. There are a few things that you have to consider.
Will giving the bad news hurt your relationship?
Is there a chance that your friend will blame you or get upset with you? Sometimes it is easier for another person to give the bad news. How will your friend benefit from being informed?
Depending on the nature of the bad news how do you think you will feel afterwards? If you will feel relieved and think that your friend will appreciate knowing sharing the news might be best.
Be strategic in your delivery. Depending on what kind of friend that you have will determine how you will deliver the news. There are some friends that might be able to handle bad news more easily than others.
Think about the types of friends that you have. You have those that are tough and can take it. There are those too that might feel shattered and lost once you tell them.
How would you handle bad news?
Ever wake up to a new day in a frenzy?
You immediately think of every task that you need to accomplish. I can promise you that there will always be laundry to do, dishes to wash or errands to run.
How do you find time to be grateful for the small things though?
You have to remember to be present in the moment. Ever have a conversation with someone and not remember anything that they said? Or picture that reversed.
When has that happened to you?
We live in a world where we are constantly in a hurry. To get to the next thing on our lists of things that should get done. When we live in this state of mind that is when we miss out on the small things.
The small things really aren’t all that little if you think about it. They are usually the moments that we encounter with those that we love. They are opportunities of happy living that can either fall in our lap or fall out of our grasp if we aren’t paying attention.
Chances where we can create meaningful memories. Think of your life as a scrapbook. Each space on the page can represent a special moment.
What do your pages look like?
Remember that your pages will include times that might not make you feel grateful. How do you put yourself in a place where you can express gratitude?
This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Sonia.
“Growing up it was easier to make friends easily wherever that you went. As a grown up this has been a challenging thing for me. How do you make friends as a grown up?”
I love this question Sonia because I am all about making new friends. It was so much easier as a little kid to make friends. You see when you are a kid anything goes.
Go to any public park and watch kids from all walks of life play with each other. No judgements are being made most of the time. They interact with each other for the same reasons. To play with each other and have a good time while doing it.
Don’t you wish that were still the case as an adult?
As a grown up you have become seasoned to the world. You are more aware of what you do and don’t like in people. As adults you tend to be a bit more selective and cautious with people in general.
Are you a shy person or do you like to mingle and get to know people?
From your question, I’m going to guess that maybe you can be a little shy. There is nothing wrong with being shy. What are your interests as an adult? Do you have any children?
Think of the things that you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests outside of work or the home?
Ever feel like you were the luckiest to have your mom as your best friend?
I read about this topic all of the time. Most of the time it has to do with younger kids and that a mom shouldn’t be your best friend. However, when you’re an adult as I am, then I cherish that additional title for my mom. She truly is my biggest fan.
You see without her where would I truly be today. In this very moment. Would I have the desire to pursue my dreams in the way that I have? To marry when I did and start a family too? I don’t think so.
My mom has been so influential and supportive all of my life. That is why I truly feel lucky. To have a relationship of such understanding and meaning with her.
Mothers have the pleasure of raising their children and guiding them each step of the way. It’s part of their role in helping us find our way. I’m forever grateful to her for that.
I hold many memories of my mom. She has this incredible sense of humor and she makes small talk wherever she goes. The gift of gab is her specialty and any stranger that she talks with will feel they have known her for a long time.
Ever find yourself wishing for girl time with your friends?
If you are like me you have more than one best friend. We get so caught up in our daily routines that we neglect making time for our friends. Not on purpose, but because we lead busy lives.
Some of my most memorable times have been with my friends. Getting together with them always means having a good time and making new memories with each other. It’s a time where you can be yourself, talk about your dreams, goals, daily life, kids, family and so much more.
My friends have made it to my inner circle and are a part of my tribe. Your tribe consists of the friends that have your back no matter what. When your life falls apart they are there. When your life is going great they continue to lift you up.
It’s important for you to look at making time to hang out. Never rule out the power of a quick hello on the phone, but meeting in person helps a lot too.
How do you make the effort to get together then?
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Miranda.
“I consider myself a fairly outgoing person. I enjoy people and working in customer service. Spreading kindness is what I do. Unfortunately, I have an employee in the workplace that is more of a naysayer and loves to spread gossip and negativity. How do you handle someone who tends to suck the life out of your day?
I love this kind of question because it’s a common problem in the workplace. It’s a topic that always comes up no matter where you work at. There is always that one person that tries to steal the joy out of the air.
They are similar to a real life thief. The good news is that they may think they have control over you, but in reality they do not.
Of course it can be hard to handle the initial shock of their behavior. Especially when you end up being on the receiving end. Once in a while you may find out a persons true colors when they gossip to others about other employees.
It’s always a good idea to check your back. On occasion you will find the occasional knife stuck in your there.
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Sonia.
How do you handle a breaking relationship? I have had someone be a part of my life since before I can remember. This person has been like a sister to me who has stood by me through the good times and the bad. Life has taken us in different directions on the globe, but I still try to keep a strong bond through social media or by calling her. This “friend” no longer calls, texts or responds through social media posts, but has time for everyone else. We had a heart to heart because I needed her and was left to deal with a life changing event alone. I tried to look past this, but see no change on her end. Should I call a spade a spade and walk away with my memories or continue to be that friend who will have her back no matter what?
This is a problem that comes up every now and then for reasons we don’t always understand. Time has a way of dividing the best of friendships. In this case it sounds like there is something beneath the surface.
When did you first notice that your friendship was taking a turn?
Throughout friendships there are other circumstances that come up that may not have anything to do with the friendship itself. If one friend is having a difficult time in their life they may hold back.
Another reason is what is otherwise known as the green-eyed monster: jealousy. It can be an ugly thing that causes havoc along the way. Friends can become jealous when they are going through a sad time in their life.
Your friend may feel like she should be getting the great things that you might be getting. This leads to resentment and may cause her to shut down. Finding out why she has changed her behavior towards you is the first thing to do.
Have you asked her if you have done something to offend her?