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advice

Lucy Brummett
in Ask Lucy

Ask Lucy: How Do I Stop Procrastinating?

This week the question comes from Elena.

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed with my day-to-day job. By the time I get home I feel too tired to do anything else after a stressful day. As much as I want to complete my life goals I find myself procrastinating. How do I stop procrastinating?” 

How do I stop procrastinating?

It seems as if no matter how bad you want to complete your goals you find ways to put them off. At first you are headstrong in going after them. Then you manage to get on the hamster wheel.

Working at your day job gives me the impression that it isn’t your first choice. Having a job while pursuing your goals is common. If your goal is to get a different career then you have to put in the time now.

Think of your time after work as your motivation in accomplishing your goals. By looking at your time as an opportunity it changes your mindset.

Completing your goals takes discipline. Try focusing on being committed to dedicating time to your goals after work.

Find time to get active. It might mean getting up earlier and squeezing in a workout. If you would rather do it after work than that might mean sacrificing something else. Look at it as a trade-off for the greater good.

Incorporating fitness into your schedule will help you from feeling tired each day. It is about setting up your day for success.

Keep your goals visible.

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Blocking Out The Dream Critics Is Beneficial

Blocking Out The Dream Critics Is Beneficial

Going after your dream is an awesome journey. At first you are excited and you end up shouting it from the rooftops. You share it with each person that you believe will support you every step of the way.

You believe that all of your friends and family will be on board with your dream. What happens when you run into the dream critics though? Sometimes you may not even recognize them. They are in your circle of family, co-workers and friends.

It is one thing to listen to good advice about your dream and another to listen to negativity. Keep an open mind when people steer you away from pursuing your dream. Blocking out dream critics can be beneficial.

Are they able to prove why your dream won’t work? Recognize when someone is simply wanting you to fail.

At some point during the pursuit of your dream you will run into those that don’t want you to succeed. Their reasons may not be apparent and there may be an underlying culprit for their non-belief in what you are trying to do.

How do you block out the dream critics?

This is when you start evaluating the people who are encouraging you and those that are not. Going after your dream requires you to be committed to it no matter what. You can look at it as a weeding process.

You can block out a dream critic by not sharing your dream with them as often. Talk about other things going on in your life or listening more to what is going on with theirs. Just because someone isn’t supporting what you are dreaming about doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or at least be acquaintances.

Blocking out this type of negativity makes you more aware of what is important. It’s your dream and when you take action amazing things start to happen. You let go of what is bogging you down from moving forward.

As much as you want the support of everyone that you know that isn’t always possible. Observe the things that you notice when you start eliminating the critics. You will feel more peace with working on the things that matter the most.

You start to move towards where you are meant to go with your dream. Imagine someone telling you what a bad idea your dream is or that it’ll never work. It doesn’t exactly inspire you to be all that you can be.

Now imagine a person telling you what a great idea it is. That they believe in you and they start encouraging you to pursue your dream. That is like night and day.

I find that I am more inspired by being around the people who lift me up. The type of people who have utter faith in what I am doing with my dream. They also are the ones that do not believe in quitting because they have been through it themselves.

Who would you be more apt to listen to? I know I would be steering towards those that would push me in the right direction.

Taking action steers you towards your purpose

Do whatever it takes to pursue what you are called to do. A dream only works if you give it a chance to. Weeding out the critics is similar to weeding out your garden. When you pull the weeds out that allows the garden to thrive and flourish.

It’s true beauty has a chance to emerge and produce what it is meant to. That is the same thing with your dream. It deserves the same loving care and attention that a garden does.

Dream critics are simply potholes in the road. They are temporary distractions. They only remain permanent if you give them the power to do so.

I am going to continue navigating my own path. Although I’ll encounter those dream critics I’ll be ready to listen to my own voice: the one that knows my dreams are worth chasing. In the end you get this one life and it’s your chance to make it the best that it can be.

Are you ready to take action?

I truly enjoy receiving submissions from my readers. Have a question and want some advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email me at: hello@lulalucy.com

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How Shopping Alone Prepped Me For The Unexpected

Shopping Alone Calls For Being Alert

How shopping alone prepped me for the unexpected.

Recently, I decided to make a quick trip to the mall while on my lunch break. I wanted to stop and buy some sandals along with visiting a nice little coffee cafe.

Anytime that I am out and about I love to stop and buy a flavorful latte. After picking up a quick bite and my latte I headed towards the hallway towards the exit.

A man made a comment about me being beautiful and it alerted me in the way that he looked at me. It wasn’t a genuine compliment, instead more disrespectful in nature. He also happened to be walking in the opposite direction.

Considering that I work with the public on a daily basis I’m prone to making observations about people. I work in a place that calls for me to be on top of things before allowing people through the door. It’s that keen sense of awareness.

Something told me that I was going to be followed. My goal was to get back to work on time. When I got closer to the exit I turned around and the same man was clearly following me.

I held the door open so that he could go out first. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I replied that I was married. Looking back now I should have stayed in the mall since I was in an unsafe situation.

I say unsafe because this man then proceeded to say vulgar things to me. He had no right to get graphic with me. However, he told me what he would do to me sexually.

I was able to get in my car after that and he knew that he couldn’t get to me. He walked away. He didn’t look like he was sorry at all.

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in Ask Lucy

Ask Lucy

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Lori.

“I am a mother of two kids and work full-time. I’m also a wife, a friend and I am constantly doing stuff. I would love to start getting fit, but I do a lot of self-sabotaging. I’m tired of making excuses. I lack motivation and often wonder what I would look like if I had the body that I used to have before my beautiful children. I want to keep the spice alive as a wife, but am not sure where to go from here. My husband says that he loved me then and still loves me now. If I could start some kind of routine and diet I know that would boost my self-esteem. What can I do to get on the right track this time?”

First of all let me start by saying thank you for reaching out to me. It takes a lot of courage to bring up wanting to get fit and explaining what you have gone through. Your situation is so relatable to many.

I know it is tough when you work a full-time job plus have a family to take care of. Luckily our children are older and very independent. Don’t let that fool you though because you will always be needed. That’s not a bad thing either, I welcome it.

Start by making a list of the reasons why you want to get fit. What do you hope to gain from it? I’m not talking about pounds either. Think about the reasons why fitness would be good for you.

What would happen if you were to shed the weight and tone up?

I have found that your fitness journey is what you make of it. You can join any program, try any diet, watch a ton of videos on fitness, but in the end it is up to you.

You will always get advice on what to do and what not to do. If you work out diligently three times a week and then continue to eat the way that you’re used to guess what happens? You don’t see the results that you are looking for.

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in Ask Lucy

Ask Lucy

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Andrea.

“How do you break bad news to a good friend? It’s a friend that I’ve known for a long time. I’m unsure of whether I should be the one to do it or if I should turn the other cheek.”

Giving bad news to anyone is never easy. Especially to a good friend. I guess it would depend on the kind of bad news that you have to deliver. There are a few things that you have to consider.

Will giving the bad news hurt your relationship?

Is there a chance that your friend will blame you or get upset with you? Sometimes it is easier for another person to give the bad news. How will your friend benefit from being informed?

Depending on the nature of the bad news how do you think you will feel afterwards? If you will feel relieved and think that your friend will appreciate knowing sharing the news might be best.

Be strategic in your delivery. Depending on what kind of friend that you have will determine how you will deliver the news. There are some friends that might be able to handle bad news more easily than others.

Think about the types of friends that you have. You have those that are tough and can take it. There are those too that might feel shattered and lost once you tell them.

How would you handle bad news?

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in Ask Lucy

Ask Lucy

This week in Ask Lucy the question comes from Sonia.

“Growing up it was easier to make friends easily wherever that you went. As a grown up this has been a challenging thing for me. How do you make friends as a grown up?”

I love this question Sonia because I am all about making new friends. It was so much easier as a little kid to make friends. You see when you are a kid anything goes.

Go to any public park and watch kids from all walks of life play with each other. No judgements are being made most of the time. They interact with each other for the same reasons. To play with each other and have a good time while doing it.

Don’t you wish that were still the case as an adult?

As a grown up you have become seasoned to the world. You are more aware of what you do and don’t like in people. As adults you tend to be a bit more selective and cautious with people in general.

Are you a shy person or do you like to mingle and get to know people?

From your question, I’m going to guess that maybe you can be a little shy. There is nothing wrong with being shy. What are your interests as an adult? Do you have any children?

Think of the things that you like to do. What are your hobbies and interests outside of work or the home?

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Ask Lucy

In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Melissa.

“I have gone through some very hard times in my life recently. Things that made me feel like it was the end of the world. How do you get your old self back?  You know the person that you used to be before things got ugly? I want so badly to put my hurt in the past.”

Life can get uncomfortable sometimes. There are times that it will take you for a spin and always when you aren’t ready for it. If you allow it to then it will take you to a very sad place.

Hard times are inevitable and unfortunately happen to everyone at some point in their life. There isn’t a cure-all remedy either. Depending on your situation will determine your course of action.Think about what started that awful moment or chain of events that gave you the painful time.

Wouldn’t it be nice to rewind time and have a do over?

It would be great to have an opportunity to erase that pain and exchange it for a moment that brought you happiness instead. Here is the thing about hurt you don’t have to hurt forever.

That is the good news. Being human you are expected to go through your emotions. Perhaps it made you angry, sad or brought you to tears. At the time I am sure it did not feel good, but you don’t have to live with it daily.

It is good to confide in a good friend or family member to get someone elses perspective. Maybe you are solely looking for someone to listen to you without judging. If that doesn’t help you consider going to your church or finding a therapist that can help you dig deeper.

Painful moments in life require a lot of tender loving care. Some moments are more painful than others.

Are you feeling guilty about this?

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Ways To Provide Summer Learning Fun

Pretty soon the kids will be out for summer fun. Are you ready to have them continue learning throughout their time off? It is a great time to keep them engaged in learning if you prep ahead of time.

The local library was always a great way for my kids to read over the summer. They had the chance to participate in a summer contest and earn a trophy. If you were a kid and you wanted to win that trophy you ended up reading and fulfilling the required time that it took.

You see summer has its perks. There are plenty of learning opportunities if you find out what is available. Ask other moms to see where they have gone or plan on going to. If you live in an area close to museums look into that also.

Our hometown in Ohio happened to include the home of President Rutherford B. Hayes. It was great to be able to walk on the property and visit the museum there. A part of history that we were fortunate enough to learn about. Spiegel Grove as it is known will always hold some fond memories.

http://www.rbhayes.org/

We live in an age of high technology. Technology is great, but disconnecting for a little bit is good too. Revert to the ways in how things used to be. Let your kids get outdoors and get dirty. Know the best times to include technology.

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In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Yvonne.

“I have been working a 9-5 job for as long as I can remember. The job has been good to me and is fairly easy. My only dilemma is that I feel in my gut that I need to pursue my true passion. I know what I am passionate about. I’d rather not say what it is, but feel I need direction on what I should do. Do I stay with the traditional job that has a retirement plan along with security? Or do I pursue what is in my heart even though it’s out of my safety net?”

Ah! This one hits home for me. A lot of people who venture towards their dream have had these types of questions. Working in a traditional job has many benefits. You get sick time, vacation time, health insurance and a retirement plan usually. Those are not things to take lightly.

Are you happy though in the end?

When it is all said and done do you feel fulfilled at the end of the day?

We all have a purpose or even call it a destiny if you will. It is up to discover what that purpose is. What do you feel that you are being called to do?

Why does it touch your heart the way that it does?

Going after your dream feels a lot like opening a gift. It doesn’t matter if you are young, middle-aged or older. That feeling in the very core of your soul is the real thing.

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Ask Lucy

In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Sonia.

“How do I stay motivated and positive going through a life change such as school? As a mom I can get distracted easily.”

Going back to school is a life change in itself. Especially when you are a mother. As a mother you are always trying to stay on top of things. Depending on how busy you are it can be difficult to stay motivated.

How do you recognize what phase you are in during all of this?

In the initial phase the little things become a nuisance. A few things start to bother you here and there. You try to shrug it off and keep on going regardless.

Phase 2 is when you start to second guess yourself. You take on additional tasks because you feel like you can do it all. You still want to be the best mom ever. Right?

Part of you doesn’t want to be perceived as a quitter either. Staying positive during this phase is a little bit more challenging. Although it’s not impossible.

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