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Remembering Mom on Mother’s Day

Ever feel like you were the luckiest to have your mom as your best friend?

I read about this topic all of the time. Most of the time it has to do with younger kids and that a mom shouldn’t be your best friend. However, when you’re an adult as I am, then I cherish that additional title for my mom. She truly is my biggest fan.

You see without her where would I truly be today. In this very moment. Would I have the desire to pursue my dreams in the way that I have? To marry when I did and start a family too? I don’t think so.

My mom has been so influential and supportive all of my life. That is why I truly feel lucky. To have a relationship of such understanding and meaning with her.

Mothers have the pleasure of raising their children and guiding them each step of the way. It’s part of their role in helping us find our way. I’m forever grateful to her for that.

I hold many memories of my mom. She has this incredible sense of humor and she makes small talk wherever she goes. The gift of gab is her specialty and any stranger that she talks with will feel they have known her for a long time.

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Stages of Motherhood Are Bittersweet

Becoming a mother comes with so many different stages. For nine long months you are responsible for carrying a new life inside of you. That is definitely a big deal.

When your child enters the world for the first time it is a bittersweet moment. With both of our boys I remember feeling like that. I was excited during each pregnancy and then it was time for our kids to enter our world.

In the beginning it was such a mystery on how to care for each of our boys. They are six years apart so each birth came with some new experiences. Ever hear of “mom brain?”

That’s when you forget everything including how you took care of your first child. No, not really, but it certainly feels that way. Eventually instinct kicks in and you remember how to do it all.

It is easy for me to reminisce about my mom moments because honestly I’ve had many. I remember the first day of kindergarten for our oldest as I do the youngest. They were both so little.

Watching our oldest ride the school bus for the first time is hard to describe. Part of me wanted to go back and get him and take him to school myself. The school was well within a short drive away, but nevertheless that was me trying to hold on still.

Photo by Pixabay

I have many friends that still have babies, toddlers and elementary school aged children. As a mother of older kids I wanted to share my experiences as a mom. Hopefully, it will help those that haven’t gone through these stages yet.

I remember being pregnant with our second son and wondering if his older brother would feel neglected. As a mom you go into protection mode. You want the absolute best for your children.

Think you won’t have enough love for more than one child?

You always have enough love for each child. You all learn to adapt to a bigger family. It brings along so many good times as a family.

Being a mother or a father means so many things. You are the one that they go to when they are hurting or when they simply need you. You are who they always ask when they want to know something that they don’t understand.

It’s like you are that reference book that you find on a bookshelf. It’s always at your disposal. You keep your answers ready to go in your mental compartments.

Those compartments are where you store vital information. It’s like that important note that you put in your back pocket. If you don’t know then you find the answer the best way that you know how.

When my kids entered elementary school it was a time to help them with homework, projects and going on the occasional field trip. There were the times to plan for an upcoming birthday. Making sure that you sent them to school with lunch money.

Doing last-minute holiday shopping for that gift that was hard to find because we didn’t get it in advance. Why did it always have to be the most wanted gift of the season?

Have you ever been on a quest looking for that popular gift?

I’ve been there and done that. Would I do it all over again? Of course I would because it meant something. It wasn’t about spoiling our children either, but being happy in that moment together. Seeing the joy that it brought to their face.

There were the times of watching our boys participate in different sports too. I learned about them as they played them. It was a learning curve for me because I didn’t always know all the rules.

There are so many memorable times for me and our kids that I couldn’t be happier. You see as parents you are always trying to figure out what works. Some ways work better than others, but you always do what is right for all of you. At least to the best of your ability.

On top of that try having a full-time job and being a parent. It is a lot of work, but not impossible though. I can say that my house was lived in. A lot of times it wasn’t the prettiest. Guess what there is plenty of mom shame there.

Did that make me a bad mother though?

Of course not. Would I have liked to have had an immaculate house? Yes, absolutely, but I was also realistic.

Many times so many of us as mothers are put through mom shame if we don’t have everything in order or a nice hot meal on the table. The house is a place where all can pitch in. It all starts with the decision you make when you decide for them to learn that.

What did I learn?

I learned that I should have delegated more when I was a younger mother. With my whole family. That it is not all up to me. I’m starting to do that more now.

Guess what?

There is no mom shame about that either. For so many years I’ve tried to do it all. I never did reach that level of perfect either. In fact I wasn’t even close. However, now as an older, but wiser mother I’ve learned about having more balance. That it is okay to hire a cleaning lady every once in a while and that I’m still considered an awesome mom.

Want to know what I gained from that?

I gained mom moments that I will forever treasure in my heart. They left an imprint on my soul. Those moments of joy that you wouldn’t trade for all of the money in the world.

There were family trips that were taken to different places and to familiar places throughout the years. Easter egg hunts, miniature golf, amusement parks and the traditional trip to the local park. Catching fireflies at our country home in Ohio on beautiful summer nights.

I went through different seasons of trying to protect our kids from falling and getting hurt. Then came the time when our oldest son graduated from high school and enrolled in college. Now our youngest son received his driver’s license.

Those fears, those insecurities all coming up to the surface once again. One part of you is so happy that they succeeded getting their license and the other part of you is sad that they won’t need you as much.

Photo by Pixabay

Did I mention it’s hard being a mom?

It is, but it is also trusting that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to. That you can’t protect your kids from every single thing and some things they will have to learn on their own. Part of you goes through the motions of having to let go of that apron string. Little by little and over time.

Welcome to parenthood. I don’t know what it feels like to be an empty nester. At least not yet. If I could slow down time I would do it in a heartbeat.

That is the selfish me talking though. Deep down I know that our kids have to learn about life lessons on their own. That we are here as parents to guide them. Our children have the responsibility of navigating their path based on what we have taught them.

It’s okay to let go of those apron strings. Each stage of their life has been monumental. No matter what ages our children are at we will still be here for them. As we always have been. I have comfort knowing that.

There are so many more mom moments ahead of me. They started the first time that I looked into our kids eyes when they were born. Those same eyes have grown with the years. Each of our boys reaching their very own milestones with the passing years.

So many things await them. Some we can guide and control and other things we will not. We will pass the torch onto them when they begin their own families. The same way that ours did for us as new parents.

Remember to be in the moment this Mothers Day if you are given the chance. Dishes may have to wait or that long list of chores too. Regardless, let go of any mom shame and go enjoy this lovely thing we call parenthood. Live guilt free if even for a moment.

Feel free to share this with a friend if it inspired you and as always thank you.

Have you been pondering over a question that you aren’t sure about? Need advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email me at: hello@lulalucy.com

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Ways To Avoid Buyers Remorse

Ever purchase a car or big-ticket item then feel that you made a bad decision?

There are some things to look for before finding a car dealership. Try shopping local first. Ask your friends and family if they can recommend a place or salesperson.

Word of mouth goes a long way. It has always been my number one choice whenever possible. If a friend or coworker has had a positive sales experience ask for the name of the person that helped them.

That is exactly how I came across Hendrick of Southpoint in Durham, North Carolina. I took the advice of a coworker and came out with a sports car of my choice.

http://www.hendrickgmsouthpoint.com/

Each step of the process was positive and the customer service was exceptional from start to finish. Their finance department was great too. When I walked out of that dealership I knew that I had made a great decision.

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Making The Best Out Of Girl Time

Ever find yourself wishing for girl time with your friends?

If you are like me you have more than one best friend. We get so caught up in our daily routines that we neglect making time for our friends. Not on purpose, but because we lead busy lives.

Some of my most memorable times have been with my friends. Getting together with them always means having a good time and making new memories with each other. It’s a time where you can be yourself, talk about your dreams, goals, daily life, kids, family and so much more.

My friends have made it to my inner circle and are a part of my tribe. Your tribe consists of the friends that have your back no matter what. When your life falls apart they are there. When your life is going great they continue to lift you up.

It’s important for you to look at making time to hang out. Never rule out the power of a quick hello on the phone, but meeting in person helps a lot too.

How do you make the effort to get together then?

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Banish Insecurities When Chasing Your Dream

Ever feel stuck on your path?

You know that path that you’re supposed to be embarking on. Maybe it’s that path that was once your life long dream. The one that has been put on hold because you are a bit scared.

Going after any kind of dream is never something that is easy. In fact it can give you a lot of grief. You go through a phase where you feel like you are not good enough or worthy even.

Records were meant to be broken. Meaning your own personal records with all of your goals. Just because something scares you doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it.

It should challenge you and motivate you to try. Failure at something is not the end of the world. Although it doesn’t feel good when it happens it’s part of the process.

You grow from it. It’s up to you to decide when it is going to be a deal breaker.

Will it be determined by the amount of time it takes you?

I have been trying to get published in Chicken Soup for the Soul books for years. Has that stopped me from continuing to submit?

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My local favorites Dos Perros and The Durham

Do you have a favorite restaurant or a place that you are a regular at?

Let me tell you about two of my favorite places. The first is Dos Perros. http://www.dosperrosrestaurant.com/

The food and customer service at Dos Perros is the best. That is why I return time and time again. I always lean towards ordering the camarones (shrimp) with aioli and marinated cucumbers platter.

However, I have been known to try some new dishes as well. If you want to really make your experience more special then attend one of their specialty dinners.

This past fall my oldest son and I attended their Day of the Dead Beer Dinner. We had the pleasure of trying a variety of beers and delicious food. It was a very cool experience and we even had the chance of dressing the part for the event.

Day of the Dead Beer Dinner at Dos Perros

They also offer a variety of cocktails that you can choose from. Dinner would not be complete without having some of their dessert. The Mexican Pot de Creme or Dulce de Leche ice cream that is specially made at The Parlour. https://theparlour.co/

I love the ambiance of Dos Perros because first they know me and I have a table that I like to go to. Plus, they already know what I want to drink when I get there. Non-alcoholic of course weekdays, but if I am ever with my husband then a cocktail I shall have. They are delicious by the way.

I love being personable and when people get to know you as a regular it is a bonus. So it also adds to the feel good factor when I go there.

During warm weather you have the option of eating outside on the patio and that is relaxing too.

Mexican Coca Cola at Dos Perros

My next go to place would be The Durham hotel. http://thedurham.com/ The staff there are always friendly and give me the best customer service too.

I love walking there on my lunch break to get a nice hot latte and to do some writing. Another nice addition to the great service are the variety of events held there. This month they feature views from the rooftop with Morehead Planetarium & NC Science Fest.

They provide telescopes in order to view constellations from their rooftop. It is a fabulous location for such an event. To have the opportunity to see the full moon is great.

Do you ever look at the stars and try to find constellations?

Check out their website for more information on upcoming events that include more stargazing opportunities. One event that I would love to try is the Counter Culture Coffee tasting. Coffee is life and I am game for that type of event.

As far as accommodations at the hotel I have not had the pleasure of staying there yet. I would love to one of these days. When I do I plan on enjoying a fabulous dinner there along with a cocktail on the rooftop. I will also make it a priority to ask what their favorite cocktail of choice is.

Rooftop view at The Durham

I will be sure to write about it and share my review with you all in the future. Durham is forever growing and thriving. It has a little bit of everything if you take the time to visit.

Be sure to ask the locals what their favorite go to spots are. This will lead you to a hidden gem that might end up becoming your favorite as well. Go to the Durham Convention and Visitors Bureau at: https://www.durham-nc.com/ for more information on the area and what it offers visitors.

Durham is waiting on you. Are you ready to go exploring at some local places here?

Have you been pondering over a question that you aren’t sure about? Need advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email me at: hello@lulalucy.com

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Pushing Past Doubt

Ever wonder what might happen if you pushed past doubt?

Doubt can loom over you like a dark cloud. If you allow it to have its way that is. It is a surefire way to prevent you from achieving success. Think of the reasons behind your doubt.

Doubt can hold you back for years. It’s all part of that negative self-talk that we often fall victim to. Ever look at someone else that was making it and you felt that you could never get that success too?

Feed your mind with positive affirmations to help you stay encouraged. Your mind is similar to a sponge. It absorbs the good and the bad.

Why not help it absorb the positive self-talk instead?

Maybe you have a desire to pursue your dream, but are afraid that you aren’t going to be good enough. When we see other people who are successful it can feel overwhelming in the beginning. Remember that it all takes time though.

Patience is truly a virtue. It is hard to do especially when you are anxious in completing your goals. However, it is important to do it with the right expectations.

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Keeping Your Kids Inspired to Dream Big

Did you know that your child has dreams too?

If you are a parent then you understand the importance of that. Often I hear of parents that have regrets that they did not pursue their own dreams. They share how they want their children to pursue their dreams so that there are no regrets later.

For the parents that made that sacrifice I think that some of them get to live their dreams through their children. That is why some parents push their children toward that reward.

Then you have the parents that have succeeded and simply want to ensure that their children try also.

As a parent myself that is what my hope and wishes are for our boys. I want them to pursue their passion too. By having a strong faith and belief in what they are capable of doing.

What I have learned is that it is important for them to see me pursue my dreams. In this way it helps to inspire them too. I try to be the role model to show them that I believe in myself.

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The 5 Phases Of Pursuing Your Dream

Have you ever had a dream or huge goal that scared you?

A dream worth chasing, but that looked absolutely intimidating. Enough that you’d rather hide underneath a rock instead of going for it. If you answered yes then you are not alone.

In the first phase of starting your dream you experience a high amount of energy initially. You feel like it’s too good to be true. You are on cloud nine all the way.

Is this too good to be true?

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Getting In Tune With Your Calling

Ever take a minute to hear your own inner voice?

It’s similar to that one that you heard when you were a child. Sound familiar? You hear it from time to time if you pause long enough to listen. Your calling takes up residence inside of you.

It isn’t always easy to recognize either. That kid in you never leaves. You carry that inner child for life.

It is also the one that allowed you to imagine what you could be some day. That impossible dream that always seemed so far out of reach.

Do you remember yearning for it?

Now you’re older and have acquired more wisdom. Yet you are still on the edge of the pier with your toes dabbling in the water right? It is such a comfortable place to be in.

No worries here, nothing to be afraid of either. If you only put your toes in you don’t have to work hard. You get to continue to dream and imagine all of the “what if’s.”

Let’s not forget taking risks. Sitting on the edge of that beautiful pier overlooking the water is the safe zone. By staying here you partner up with procrastination.

So how do you get in tune with your calling?

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