Ever find yourself wishing for girl time with your friends?
If you are like me you have more than one best friend. We get so caught up in our daily routines that we neglect making time for our friends. Not on purpose, but because we lead busy lives.
Some of my most memorable times have been with my friends. Getting together with them always means having a good time and making new memories with each other. It’s a time where you can be yourself, talk about your dreams, goals, daily life, kids, family and so much more.
My friends have made it to my inner circle and are a part of my tribe. Your tribe consists of the friends that have your back no matter what. When your life falls apart they are there. When your life is going great they continue to lift you up.
It’s important for you to look at making time to hang out. Never rule out the power of a quick hello on the phone, but meeting in person helps a lot too.
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Kaylee.
“I work a 9-5 job, I am a wife and mother of two boys ages 15 and 17. My job isn’t a tough job, but at the end of the day I find myself feeling tired. I am always running and trying to balance life in general with my family. What can I do to still be that stellar mom and wife, but find something for me at the same time? I want to feel like I can still do all of those things, but be happy doing something for myself that makes me happy too.”
This is a great question and it sounds like you are getting mom burnout. When you work full-time it adds to the daily stress of all of your daily responsibilities. As a mother and a wife you are wearing many hats.
I can relate to what you are experiencing. After I have worked all day I don’t always have the energy to start a meal when I get home. It’s easy to get so caught up in all that you have to do, feel unfulfilled and suffer from mom shame.
Who doesn’t want to be the perfect mother, wife or employee?
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Miranda.
“I consider myself a fairly outgoing person. I enjoy people and working in customer service. Spreading kindness is what I do. Unfortunately, I have an employee in the workplace that is more of a naysayer and loves to spread gossip and negativity. How do you handle someone who tends to suck the life out of your day?
I love this kind of question because it’s a common problem in the workplace. It’s a topic that always comes up no matter where you work at. There is always that one person that tries to steal the joy out of the air.
They are similar to a real life thief. The good news is that they may think they have control over you, but in reality they do not.
Of course it can be hard to handle the initial shock of their behavior. Especially when you end up being on the receiving end. Once in a while you may find out a persons true colors when they gossip to others about other employees.
It’s always a good idea to check your back. On occasion you will find the occasional knife stuck in your there.
The food and customer service at Dos Perros is the best. That is why I return time and time again. I always lean towards ordering the camarones (shrimp) with aioli and marinated cucumbers platter.
However, I have been known to try some new dishes as well. If you want to really make your experience more special then attend one of their specialty dinners.
This past fall my oldest son and I attended their Day of the Dead Beer Dinner. We had the pleasure of trying a variety of beers and delicious food. It was a very cool experience and we even had the chance of dressing the part for the event.
They also offer a variety of cocktails that you can choose from. Dinner would not be complete without having some of their dessert. The Mexican Pot de Creme or Dulce de Leche ice cream that is specially made at The Parlour. https://theparlour.co/
I love the ambiance of Dos Perros because first they know me and I have a table that I like to go to. Plus, they already know what I want to drink when I get there. Non-alcoholic of course weekdays, but if I am ever with my husband then a cocktail I shall have. They are delicious by the way.
I love being personable and when people get to know you as a regular it is a bonus. So it also adds to the feel good factor when I go there.
During warm weather you have the option of eating outside on the patio and that is relaxing too.
My next go to place would be The Durham hotel. http://thedurham.com/ The staff there are always friendly and give me the best customer service too.
I love walking there on my lunch break to get a nice hot latte and to do some writing. Another nice addition to the great service are the variety of events held there. This month they feature views from the rooftop with Morehead Planetarium & NC Science Fest.
They provide telescopes in order to view constellations from their rooftop. It is a fabulous location for such an event. To have the opportunity to see the full moon is great.
Do you ever look at the stars and try to find constellations?
Check out their website for more information on upcoming events that include more stargazing opportunities. One event that I would love to try is the Counter Culture Coffee tasting. Coffee is life and I am game for that type of event.
As far as accommodations at the hotel I have not had the pleasure of staying there yet. I would love to one of these days. When I do I plan on enjoying a fabulous dinner there along with a cocktail on the rooftop. I will also make it a priority to ask what their favorite cocktail of choice is.
I will be sure to write about it and share my review with you all in the future. Durham is forever growing and thriving. It has a little bit of everything if you take the time to visit.
Be sure to ask the locals what their favorite go to spots are. This will lead you to a hidden gem that might end up becoming your favorite as well. Go to the Durham Convention and Visitors Bureau at: https://www.durham-nc.com/ for more information on the area and what it offers visitors.
Durham is waiting on you. Are you ready to go exploring at some local places here?
Have you been pondering over a question that you aren’t sure about? Need advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email meat:firstname.lastname@example.org
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Nancy.
“My husband will be leaving soon for a job across the country. This job is a blessing, but my family is taking it hard. My family is really close and are used to spending time together. We have three wonderful kids. Two of them are making the transition from a teen to an adult and our youngest will be a senior soon. All of them have a special bond with their daddy. We’ve downloaded FaceTime apps and scheduled weekend visits. How can I help them and myself with this transition?”
This sounds like something that I can relate to. Before we moved to North Carolina our family went through this very thing. It can be a difficult time especially when you are so used to having your spouse and family together all of the time.
It sounds like you have set up some good ways to get through it. FaceTime and the weekend visits are going to benefit everyone. The main thing is keeping the communication line open.
With FaceTime it will be a way for your family and your spouse to feel connected to each other. Be sure to schedule your own one on one FaceTime with your spouse as well.
When we moved I didn’t have that kind of option, but I wish I would have been able to communicate this way with my spouse and I know our children would have loved that.
You want to remain supportive of your spouse taking this job. Remember that this will be hard on him as well. He has chosen to take a big leap to better himself and your family. It can be a time where there might be feelings of uncertainty.
Ever wonder what might happen if you pushed past doubt?
Doubt can loom over you like a dark cloud. If you allow it to have its way that is. It is a surefire way to prevent you from achieving success. Think of the reasons behind your doubt.
Doubt can hold you back for years. It’s all part of that negative self-talk that we often fall victim to. Ever look at someone else that was making it and you felt that you could never get that success too?
Feed your mind with positive affirmations to help you stay encouraged. Your mind is similar to a sponge. It absorbs the good and the bad.
Why not help it absorb the positive self-talk instead?
Maybe you have a desire to pursue your dream, but are afraid that you aren’t going to be good enough. When we see other people who are successful it can feel overwhelming in the beginning. Remember that it all takes time though.
Patience is truly a virtue. It is hard to do especially when you are anxious in completing your goals. However, it is important to do it with the right expectations.
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the questions comes from Sally.
Is it normal not to know if you’re in love or not? I know it’s a silly question when you are older, but after being in love and in a marriage for 20+ years I’m not sure how I feel anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever have that “head over heels” feeling again and I may not ever get that back. Shame on me for saying it back and not knowing, but I know it’s just different. I have such a shield now with everyone that I have lost the closeness with my parents and sibling. I keep to myself, but do enjoy time with that special man in my life who has shown me how to laugh again. I have read that it’s normal to shut people out after a divorce, but does a person ever open back up again? What are your thoughts?”
This is a difficult one to answer because your pain comes across so openly. That is what happens after you had such a long marriage. It is to be expected.
Sure you were so in love with your first marriage, but it doesn’t have to stop there. You are in the healing process after divorce. Each person is different.
There is no magic formula that will tell you when it is okay to fall in love again. The love that you shared with your ex-husband will always be special. You created a strong bond together.
For whatever your reasons were for divorcing it didn’t break that tie completely. You grew together for so many years and I bet some of those were truly wonderful years too.
When you share that kind of time together it won’t be that easy to feel like you can love again. Depending if your divorce was recent or not will also determine how you feel about love. It’s okay to question your feelings.
You may not know if you are in love or not because you are afraid to answer that question. Maybe the new guy in your life is a great companion that enjoys your company, adores you and makes you laugh.
If that was missing in your life before, then it would be easier for you to accept him in your life now.
Do you think you enjoy his attention and the fact that he makes you feel special again?
I can only imagine that it would be flattering to get that kind of attention after a divorce. You deserve to be treated like a queen. It is great that you enjoy each others company.
In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Nancy.
“My husband left a really good job a couple of years ago to pursue another career. He hasn’t found that new career yet. I’ve been extremely supportive with him going back to school or trying different jobs. As long as he is happy is all that matters. Unfortunately, our bank account and bills do not share the same sentiment. How do I keep supporting his happiness with our financial challenges?”
That is a tough predicament to be in. One part of you wants to be the supportive spouse and the other part resents that you have to put up with most of the financial burden. It is okay to feel those type of emotions.
How much longer do you want to ride it out though?
Maybe now is the time to have a heart to heart talk with your spouse. Let him know that although you initially gave your support that now it is more of a burden on you.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t want him to find his dream career, but now it’s his turn to step up to the plate. Going after a dream career takes time. You both owe it to yourselves to find a way to compromise.
If you are a parent then you understand the importance of that. Often I hear of parents that have regrets that they did not pursue their own dreams. They share how they want their children to pursue their dreams so that there are no regrets later.
For the parents that made that sacrifice I think that some of them get to live their dreams through their children. That is why some parents push their children toward that reward.
Then you have the parents that have succeeded and simply want to ensure that their children try also.
As a parent myself that is what my hope and wishes are for our boys. I want them to pursue their passion too. By having a strong faith and belief in what they are capable of doing.
What I have learned is that it is important for them to see me pursue my dreams. In this way it helps to inspire them too. I try to be the role model to show them that I believe in myself.