In this weeks Ask Lucy segment the question comes from Kaylee.
“I work a 9-5 job, I am a wife and mother of two boys ages 15 and 17. My job isn’t a tough job, but at the end of the day I find myself feeling tired. I am always running and trying to balance life in general with my family. What can I do to still be that stellar mom and wife, but find something for me at the same time? I want to feel like I can still do all of those things, but be happy doing something for myself that makes me happy too.”
This is a great question and it sounds like you are getting mom burnout. When you work full-time it adds to the daily stress of all of your daily responsibilities. As a mother and a wife you are wearing many hats.
I can relate to what you are experiencing. After I have worked all day I don’t always have the energy to start a meal when I get home. It’s easy to get so caught up in all that you have to do, feel unfulfilled and suffer from mom shame.
Who doesn’t want to be the perfect mother, wife or employee?
The reality is that no one is perfect. What do you think that you could do to alleviate some of the workload at home? It sounds like you have an advantage with your kids being older.
Do they enjoy cooking or picking up some of the chores that you usually do?
All households are not created the same. What might work for one family may not work for another. I would start with having a conversation with your family.
Try to come up with a compromise on the daily chores and with meal planning. In our household our oldest has been cooking a lot lately. This has been a godsend for me because it is such a huge help.
To walk in the front door and smell the aroma of dinner being made is awesome. It feels like a huge relief off of my shoulders. It makes me feel like I received the best gift ever.
When the kids do laundry, their own of course; it goes a long way. Luckily one is already a young adult and the other is in high school.
I am not the wonder woman of my household 24/7, but I am not ashamed to say that. I have had the pleasure of having a mother and daughter team clean our house at least once a month. That is a big deal to me.
It used to make me feel inadequate because I wasn’t doing all of those things myself. The pressure of trying to do it all was too much and I finally listened to a good friend that suggested I get some help with cleaning my house. I can tell you hands down it was the best decision that I ever made.
As women we sometimes feel that we have to do it all because of what society says. I applaud the women that can do it all. I think that is awesome! At the same time if that is not you don’t make yourself feel guilty either.
Do the best that you can. When you get those things straightened out it opens up the door to explore other things. The chance to go find something to do that makes you happy.
Whether that thing is a hobby or you pursue a new career go for it. Trying is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Having a work life and a family calls for balance. Believe it or not it is possible.
I encourage you to include a little bit of exercise in there too. That always helps to give you more energy. Look for a fitness routine that feels good to you.
Having you time and time with a friend is a plus too. The key is to look for things that make you feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with the very people who help you accomplish that.
Do one thing at a time until you get the results that you are looking for. Once you get to that place where you feel less stressed you will be much happier with the decisions that you made. Life is meant to be lived the way that you want. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or wife for wanting that for yourself.
Are you up for doing what it takes to find that happier you?
If this resonated with you feel free to share with a friend.
Have you been pondering over a question that you aren’t sure about? Need advice on it? Submissions may be edited for clarity and your first name will be used unless you specify otherwise. If you would like to have your question featured on an upcoming “Ask Lucy” segment please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org